Since the early ‘90s, Lovejoy’s has been serving Noe Valley relaxed afternoon tea in a parlor that looks like it belongs in an East Midlands cottage. Union Jacks cover the walls, mismatched furniture and china are plentiful, and tea-related knickknacks fill the wooden shelves. The tea (which you can order a la carte or with a fixed set of scones, crumpets, and sandwiches for $39) is bottomless, and comes in giant tea kettles that you’ll want to take for your ever-growing home collection.

When you want to impersonate a socialite and eat tiny desserts under a mesmerizing stained glass ceiling, the road leads to The Rotunda. The American restaurant on the 4th floor of Neiman Marcus is where to dress up, fantasize about zero responsibilities, and devour scones, sandwiches, and miniature cheesecake like you have endless cash flow. Their daily afternoon tea is the best value in the city: four generously portioned sandwiches, two scones, and five desserts for $54 per person.

The swanky French tea room and patisserie in Lower Nob Hill smells like a croissant-scented air freshener at all times. Prepare to consume infinite sticks of butter. Or more realistically, a decadent ham and cheese croissant that’s warm and melty. Tea time under ornate chandeliers ($70 per person, and $295 for two with caviar service) involves a higher ratio of sweet to savory, so you’ll have a great time at Maison Danel if you bug out at the phrase “flaky, buttery pastry.”

At first glance, Sip Tea Room in the Sunset looks like a cafe. But you’ll soon realize you’re at a casual but not over-the-top afternoon tea experience as soon as the finger sandwiches, black and green teas, and sausage rolls arrive. The rotating selection of freshly made scones is what sets this place apart. Warm to the touch, soft, and just the right amount of sweet, they pair perfectly with the tart strawberry jam, bright lemon curd, and thick clotted cream.

If you’re just visiting SF, you’re shelling out $16 just to get into the Japanese Tea Garden in Golden Gate Park (FYI—residents don’t pay). But locals know that plant and tea therapy is the best therapy, so just get here. Head straight to the small wooden structure near the entrance and order a hot hojicha tea, paired with perfectly soft green tea mochi before making your way to a bar stool overlooking the pond (the best seats in the house).