River Twice in East Passyunk messes around with plenty of koji butter, golden trout roe, and firefly squid on their four-course tasting menu. But they also make Philly's best burger as an add-on element on Mondays only. It's not too complicated—just as burgers should be. Picture a toasted milk bun with two, thick-ish beef patties with crispy edges and perfect pink centers, sheets of american cheese, punchy pickled red onions, and a slather of everything-seasoned mayo. All thriller no filler.

You come to Village Whiskey in Center City to drink some sort of dark liquor and eat a lot of meat. Of the five burgers, the eight-ounce Village Burger with bibb lettuce and thousand island is the showstopper. It's thick, incredibly juicy, and the toppings-to-meat ratio ensures there's no bun sliding whatsoever. Plus, you can go for some add-ons like cheddar, applewood smoked bacon, or a mound of crispy duck fat fries for a couple extra dollars.

This Fishtown restaurant has a sign that says, “This is not Burger King, try it our way." And, fortunately, their way is better. American cheese adds salt, and holds the thing together like glue. Sour pickles and white onion give a little snap. Cherry pepper mayo brings out a creamy tang. If you double up your patty, the flavor of each component doesn't come through quite as evenly as it does with the single. But maybe you're a "more meat is more" kinda gal. And that's fine.

The patty at this upscale British-style pub near Rittenhouse Square has a combination of dry-aged New York strip, chuck, hanger, and short rib. Then it gets cranked up with smoked bacon, sharp cheddar, and a sauce that tastes a little bit like a tangier version of thousand island dressing. If you like thick, smoky burgers, this is a particularly good one.

Juicy, well-seasoned, no frills, six bucks. Need we say more? No, but we will. The thick-patty burger at this East Passyunk bar is not so different from a burger someone would hand you on a paper plate at a BBQ, what with a slightly sweet potato bun, some iceberg lettuce, slice of tomato, and gloopy cheese. In this case, though, you get to eat in one of Philly's great bars, ideally with a glass of chilled red or a pilsner and crispy, brunette-colored fries.

Bar Jawn in Manayunk makes our favorite smash burger in Philly. Maybe it’s the Fishtown Pickle Project’s habanero dill pickles, the blanket of melted cooper sharp, the "special sauce” that adds a tangy heat, or all of the above. But something about the double patty on a soft, seeded bun has a certain uncomplicated magic. It also comes with a stack of quarter-sized cottage fries, which we don't see too often in this city.

Name aside, Le Big Matt at Emmy Squared in Queen Village is decidedly nothing like a Big Mac. It's better. The pretzel bun works as a soft glove holding two half-pound beef patties, melted american cheese, lettuce, and pickles in place. There's also a sauce that tastes like thousand island and chipotle aioli had a baby—it's slightly smoky, creamy, and tangy all at once.

Having a meal at a bar usually means settling for average food in exchange for cheap drinks. That’s not the case when you stop by Standard Tap in Northern Liberties. Their smoky, seven-ounce patty has a blend of chuck and brisket. Then the thing gets piled with cheddar, house pickles, and a creamy aioli. If it's nice outside, sit on the covered deck and work your way through the burger and a side of fries.

When the burger mood strikes, you’re usually not pulling up Resy and planning a sit-down meal. Except in the case of Alice. This Bella Vista New American restaurant stacks a smoky, dry-aged patty with sweet vidalia onions, cheddar, and a yogurty white sauce akin to what you'd find at a halal cart. Despite all the toppings, you can still taste the quality of the beef, which is dripping through a soft, squishy challah bun.

You could come to Center City’s a.kitchen and have a perfectly nice time eating branzino, chicken liver terrine, and pasta. But if you don't order the saucy, dijonnaise-drenched burger on a toasty High Street bun, you're not doing the place justice. The patty has a nice char on it, reminding us of a backyard cookout, as well as some cornichons for crunch and salt.